Time to Talk 2019

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Something happened in my life recently, two things actually, that really tested my anxiety. I’m not going to go into details, whilst I’m open about my anxiety, some things need to stay private.

I don’t want to dwell on things that have happened over the last few months. What I want to focus upon is my reaction to things, and how I have changed. I did something huge recently. I reached out.

I always talk to my mum and Alan, but even they couldn’t fully ease my worries. So, I took a step outside my comfort zone. I contacted a handful of my friends and asked them, am I seeing and feeling things right? Am I sane?

Luckily, everyone rallied around me and said that I am indeed sane. Phew! Things happening now, and over the last few months, are out of my control. I’m starting to accept, begrudgingly, that I cannot control the world.

I’m lucky to have family and friends to support me. But even so, my anxiety has really been tested. I have a lot of coping mechanisms, that I’ve learned over the years. Even so, I still had to take beta-blockers to stop my heart racing. And I’m not going to beat myself up, for needing medicine to help.

I have people to talk to, but not everyone does.

Did you know

1 in 15 people have attempted suicide at some point (mentalhealth.org.uk)
22% of 14 year old girls self-harm (NHS)
Men are three times more likely to attempt suicide than women (Samaritans)

Something I have found really important has been that while I need to talk, I also need to listen to others. My husband needed time to talk. He told me he was worried about me, that I have seemed to be getting ‘low’ these last few months. My instinct was to dismiss what he was saying, but I made sure that I didn’t dismiss his concerns.

Over the last month I have had a million blood tests and I am pleased to say that all is good inside. But those tests did highlight something. I’ve worked myself to exhaustion. I have had to admit to myself that I am not wonder woman. Running a business, raising three kids, still breastfeeding my youngest, looking after my parents, exercising, something had to give. And it was me, I’m shattered.

Positive steps

Alan bought me flowers the other day. Very sweet, especially since he has horrendous hayfever and now cannot breathe. We also took time one day and did an Escape Room together. No work, no kids, just us giggling away. It was very therapeutic. I’m also booked in for an aromatherapy massage and reflexology at Fountains Court, heaven!

Some people may not see this as a positive step. My friends do! For the last 8 years I have been pregnant or breastfeeding so, I have not been drinking. For the last month or so, I have been treating myself to a glass of red or a gin once a week. I am very particular about drinking. I will not drink at all if I’m feeling in anyway low. It’s a personal choice, if I’m happy I’ll have a cheeky gin at the weekend. It’s almost like a congratulations to myself, for having a positive week. Side note: sip smith lemon drizzle gin is lush, Ableforth’s old Tom Bathtub gin I’m not convinced by, I couldn’t taste it?

Now the most important thing that I’m changing. I always feel like I’m never doing well enough at work, and never doing well enough as a mum. I’m torn between the two and the guilt I feel is making me down. I’ve made a firm decision that when I am with the kids, I’m with them, I’m not split with work. If they are doing their own thing then fine, I’ll pop onto my emails. But there is nothing that cannot wait until tomorrow, so I can be with them and go to their dragon dance.

Now I have given you a bit of info about how I am right now personally, it’s time for me to go over some stuff from my work as an insurance adviser.

Insider Insight

I was featured in The Telegraph for arranging life, critical illness and income protection, for a woman who had been declined elsewhere
Some insurance policies give you access to dedicated counselling services.
Income protection insurance can help to keep bringing money into the household, if you cannot work due to stress or depression

One thing that I an adamant about, is that people. with mental health conditions feel supported when applying for insurance. When you feel ready, when it’s your time to talk, either myself or one of my specially trained advisers will listen to you.

If it helps I have put some videos together, just me on a sofa with a cuppa, that explains how mental health and insurance mix.

Categories: Health

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